When I chose to follow the guidance of Luke 6:30 for six months, I wish I could say it was life altering. It wasn’t. With a command to give to everyone who begs of you, you’d think by following it I’d be rid of greed and given a clean heart at the end. Instead, following those words from Jesus caused a wrestling between my soul and mind. Greed wasn’t the sin I needed to deal with.
It’s been a long time since I did this challenge, and awhile since I first wrote about it. I promised I’d follow with a second post, the rest of the story. But, I’ve felt somewhat ashamed and didn’t want to admit that following God’s word didn’t bring peace to my life.
The problem was/is, I’m a giver. Maybe I don’t seek out beggars to give money to, but I’m generous with my time, talent, and money. In fact, I’ve been an over-giver much of my life; learning to say no is much harder for me.
The thing I didn’t expect to happen during those six months was for the beggar to touch me. Literally and figuratively. When I reached out to drop the coins in his hand or hold the paper bill lengthwise for him to take (yes, I only gave to men for some reason, and no, I haven’t fully processed that to know why), I rarely got to give and getaway. My hand touched his hand quite often. There were multiple times I remember a spark, like an electric shockwave, and a warm sensation that lasted in the finger that made a connection. In other words, I felt the impact of obedience and it slightly hurt.
We don’t always know why we go through periods of deep suffering. We wonder if we can even endure the current pain and how we will move forward. We want to trust God’s provision, love, and master plan, but it’s not always easy in the moment. I know for me, many of the hardships I’ve faced resulted in a cynical and hardened heart. I doubt I’m the only one.
When I challenged myself to ‘The Luke 6:30 Project’ I was living in that cynicism. I’d tried hard to cure my ails through worldly wisdom. I thought I could come to God with a soft heart if I worked hard enough at it, that I could fix it on my own (thinking I was hiding from God). It doesn’t work that way. I needed those sparks to fly, to touch His creation, for Him to thaw the ice around my heart.
Until next time, Simply Live