Hidden Pain

Week 3, Day 6 – Livin’ by Forgivin’

This week has put us into the thick of the grit, wouldn’t you say?! We’ve had to really look at ourself and see some of our faults and where we need to improve. It’s not a fun process, and it’s not a fun thing to realize that we are harboring pain inside our heart.

It’s no surprise that we don’t like to face the truth that those close to us might actually be causing us pain. We like to think our compassion for them let’s us shake it off and go on with our day. We trick ourselves into thinking we are actually forgiving them. What really happens though is this – we make excuses and lower our standards, we internalize the other person’s actions and we bury it deep inside. We think we’ve forgiven them, but really we’ve just perfectly hidden the pain from ourself. We know we aren’t experiencing true joy, but we can’t figure out why.

We haven’t spent much time this week searching deep within our soul for those hidden hurts. This is where it gets really painful, my friends.

You may remember at the beginning of this journey, I mentioned I spent a year forgiving old hurts. Many of them seemed easy to pinpoint and I took my time as I made my way down the list of people. Because it was an emotional ride, I would forgive a little here and there, until I came to the last few people I needed to forgive.

I spent a lot of time on two particular people that I’d felt hurt me on several occasions over the years. It helped to make a list of the specific hurts I needed to address. Initially, I wrote down the hurts that were obvious (or fresh) in my mind, perhaps a few I’d allowed to ruminate over every now and again. What I noticed was, once I began writing down the hurts, things I hadn’t thought of in years came to the surface. I really thought I’d forgiven and forgotten. Boy, was I surprised to see some of these pains show up at the tip of my finger.

The last person in particular was very difficult for me to face. I cleared my schedule for an entire morning. I made my list and allowed myself a few tears to remember and grieve the pain. I’d been holding on to some hurt for over a decade with this person. NOT COOL, right?! I’m not going to lie, there was part of me that didn’t want to forgive this person. I didn’t want things to be okay with them because honestly, there was part of me that didn’t think they deserved that kind of love and sacrifice from me.

So, I spent much of the morning praying for a change of heart, meditating on the list of hurts I needed to forgive and crying like a big fat baby. Nothing seemed to help, until I said the words out loud, “I forgive you for…..” I said each and every pain out loud, acknowledged what had happened and literally said, “I forgive you.”

Words are powerful. When they enter our personal energy space, they are processed by our mind. Hearing the words, I forgive you for… allowed my mind and soul to finally let the pain go. I could finally move on, refreshed and lighthearted.

*Mindful Moments – Sit in a quiet place with some paper and a pen. Start your own list of hurts you’d like to forgive. Allow yourself to begin the forgiveness journey by just acknowledging your soul is burdened with things you may not even remember happening. Be open to allowing your mind to recollect the things you’ve forgotten but need to let it go. Your heart will thank you for it. Don’t forget to take a deep breath, hold it for two seconds and slowly release. Well done!

*Grateful Graces – What are you thankful for today?

P.S. Here’s a quick guide to forgiveness, what it is & isn’t, and a few examples of other people’s journey, enjoy…http://thisemotionallife.org/…/fo…/understanding-forgiveness

 

to be continued…Week 3, Day 7: No Make-Up, No danke.

New to the series? No problem. Start the 28-day journey to renewing your Spirit of Giving from the beginning with Week 1 – Learning the Basics – OR – Week 2 – An Attitude of Gratitude.