There seems to be a pattern forming as I tell my tale of two blogs. Every few days, I need to take a break. It feels like I haven’t gotten very far in the story, and boy oh boy, I am looking forward to some easier writing days! Today’s little commercial break involves a nice little nugget of wisdom I came up with myself. After I shared it, I thought – whoa. That’s good.
But, before I share it here with you, I think it is important to let you know that this journey is not easy. Whatever impression you have of me thus far, just know I am a scared little cat, purring in the corner with my paw over my eyes. Each day, I look at the computer and tell myself it’s show time. And, every day, after I press ‘publish’ I get nervous. Have I shared too much? Not enough? Did I write the story well enough? Do people think I am whining? Why am I putting this public, it’s so private? So many doubts flood my brain and I feel like I’m on a boat riding a rough storm to shore.
This morning, I realized there is a big difference between Moving On and Moving Through. It’s really easy to shrug the unpleasantness from my shoulders and tell myself it’s time to Move On. I have to ‘put on my big girl panties’ or ‘suck it up.’ Or, I will remind myself that life isn’t fair and I just need to hang on for better days.
Whatever expression I use, I am doing a HUGE DISSERVICE to myself. Telling myself it will be alright and to keep myself quiet all the time only piles the hurt and pain and everything else into a large mountain. Eventually, that pile is going to surround me and bury me. I have to share the pile and spread it out, conquer it. What I need to do is allow myself to feel what I feel and to acknowledge what I am feeling when I feel it. I need to use my feelings to create a better version of myself so I can come out on the other side a CHAMPION.
Doesn’t that sound like a great plan? Well, that’s exactly what my plan is, here, with this blog. I’m MOVING THROUGH, my friends. As tough as it is to revisit the most difficult days of my adult life, I know that if I don’t move through and I only move on, I will not bear a fruitful life. I will bear bitterness, anger, jealousy and lots of other unpleasantries. I have to move through so I can learn who I am today based on the challenges I faced yesterday. Getting real and raw with the moments that haunt me is the only way I can claim power over my memories.
I’m getting real, raw and moving through. Will you join me?
Until tomorrow –
live like the champion you are,